blastiafreak: ([skit] maniac for science!)
blastiafreak ([personal profile] blastiafreak) wrote2010-06-05 10:01 am
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text // advertisement

Attention: One middle-aged pervert for sale to responsible owner. He is housetrained, probably, but has problems overcoming lecherous habits.

Buyer should be strict, willing to enforce boundaries, and capable of tolerating high quantities of tentacles. Patience of a saint is a good asset but not required. Young, pretty girls should refrain from bidding and are advised to keep a distance of a hundred yards, minimum.

Bidding starts at one red. Leash is included.

[ooc: Tentacles? You want context? What, he just likes seafood. Like, a lot. And that includes calamari.]
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voice;

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[The voice is a little mischievous as it purrs,]

I started the bidding on you, Rita.
blastiafreak: ([skit] what you say?!)

voice; 1/2

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
H-huh? Bidding on--
Edited 2010-06-05 14:31 (UTC)
blastiafreak: ([skit] no peeking in my drawers!)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's getting kind of squeaky in pitch.]

What are doing that for?!

Re: voice;

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I...am not so sure.

It is good to put intelligent women into the pool!
blastiafreak: ([skit] what you say?!)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
S-sure, but--th-that's not really the point! I don't want a date with any sleazebags!

Re: voice;

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
You'll scare all of them away! Stupid men hate smart women.
blastiafreak: (I guess that'll do)

voice; 1/2

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
...You've got a point.
blastiafreak: ([skit] no peeking in my drawers!)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
N-no! What I mean is that I don't want a date with anyone!
blastiafreak: (surprised // at a loss)

voice; 1/?

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
...
blastiafreak: (traumatized // explosion imminent)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
...Fun.
blastiafreak: ([manga] ima ignore you)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
This is seriously--

Re: voice;

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant? I know.
blastiafreak: ([waitress] siiiigh what a pain)

voice; OKAY DONE

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
...N-nobody's bidding, anyway.

Re: voice; OKAY DONE

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, it's only 2:38 PM. I'll make sure someone sees you and bids.
blastiafreak: ([skit] what you say?!)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
What? No! I didn't--you really don't have to, okay?

Re: voice;

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, but I do. This little romance concept is quite an interesting one. Perhaps I was missing something, disembodied as I was.

You have no excuse like I did. Loosen up.
blastiafreak: ([skit] so in denial)

voice;

[personal profile] blastiafreak 2010-06-05 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey, I'm not trying to make excuses! You're welcome to--to experiment or whatever, but you can leave me out of it!
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