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[blastiafreak]

Attention: One middle-aged pervert for sale to responsible owner. He is housetrained, probably, but has problems overcoming lecherous habits.

Buyer should be strict, willing to enforce boundaries, and capable of tolerating high quantities of tentacles. Patience of a saint is a good asset but not required. Young, pretty girls should refrain from bidding and are advised to keep a distance of a hundred yards, minimum.

Bidding starts at one red. Leash is included.

[ooc: Tentacles? You want context? What, he just likes seafood. Like, a lot. And that includes calamari.]

Comments

voice;

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

[The voice is a little mischievous as it purrs,]

I started the bidding on you, Rita.

voice; 1/2

[blastiafreak]

H-huh? Bidding on--

voice;

[blastiafreak]

[She's getting kind of squeaky in pitch.]

What are doing that for?!

voice

[deadly_legacy]

Oh, I'll bid one red!

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

High qua-- WHAT?!

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

O-oh, ya will, huh?

video~

[blastiafreak]

Huh? Euphie?! H-hey, didn't you hear the whole part about him being a pervert?

video~

[blastiafreak]

No. That bid is rejected.

voice

[deadly_legacy]

Yes, of course. Though that sounds a little low, doesn't it? But it's what she asked for!

...Do you have a dog, Raven? [Leash?]

video~

[blastiafreak]

I'm not about to sugar-coat it. Whoever bids needs to know exactly what they'd be dealing with here.

video~

[deadly_legacy]

I assumed you were teasing him like when his friends call him old. He's very nice. We spent an afternoon at the amusement park once. It was fun.

video~

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what that's s'posed ta mean!

video~

[blastiafreak]

You spent a whole...[Groooans.] No, I'm serious! He can be all right--sometimes, maybe--but look, this is the guy who'd like nothing more than to see through your clothing!

video~

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's not fair!

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Why, do ya want one?

voice

[deadly_legacy]

That might be fun, but no, I was just wondering why you would come with a leash.

Re: video~

[deadly_legacy]

See through my clothing? Why would he want to do that?

And why did you reject my bid? I'll raise it to one orange instead!

...You don't mean while I'm wearing it do you?

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

O-oh, that's just Rita jokin' around!

video~

[blastiafreak]

That's it. It's the one superpower he'd give everything to have.

Euphie, this is for your own safety. [Nods, like this is making any sense.] I can't let you bid on him.

voice

[blastiafreak]

I was serious. I tested it myself on a monster--it's extra strong, more than capable of keeping you under control. And it comes with a spiked metal collar, too!

voice

[deadly_legacy]

It was an odd sort of introduction...

Are you enjoying the auction?

video~

[deadly_legacy]

Rita, I'm sure Raven wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Isn't he your friend?

I could wear extra thick clothes...

video~

[blastiafreak]

W-well, sure, but..th-that's exactly why! I have to take responsibility and make sure he doesn't do anything shady.

[S-saying no to that face...so difficult.]

[mypace-musume.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure glad he's housetrained.


Probably.

video~

[deadly_legacy]

Maybe you should go on the date too then!