text // advertisement

[blastiafreak]

Attention: One middle-aged pervert for sale to responsible owner. He is housetrained, probably, but has problems overcoming lecherous habits.

Buyer should be strict, willing to enforce boundaries, and capable of tolerating high quantities of tentacles. Patience of a saint is a good asset but not required. Young, pretty girls should refrain from bidding and are advised to keep a distance of a hundred yards, minimum.

Bidding starts at one red. Leash is included.

[ooc: Tentacles? You want context? What, he just likes seafood. Like, a lot. And that includes calamari.]

Comments

voice;

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

[The voice is a little mischievous as it purrs,]

I started the bidding on you, Rita.

voice; 1/2

[blastiafreak]

H-huh? Bidding on--

voice;

[blastiafreak]

[She's getting kind of squeaky in pitch.]

What are doing that for?!

Re: voice;

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

I...am not so sure.

It is good to put intelligent women into the pool!

voice;

[blastiafreak]

S-sure, but--th-that's not really the point! I don't want a date with any sleazebags!

voice

[deadly_legacy]

Oh, I'll bid one red!

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

O-oh, ya will, huh?

video~

[blastiafreak]

No. That bid is rejected.

video~

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's not fair!

voice

[deadly_legacy]

Yes, of course. Though that sounds a little low, doesn't it? But it's what she asked for!

...Do you have a dog, Raven? [Leash?]

video~

[blastiafreak]

Huh? Euphie?! H-hey, didn't you hear the whole part about him being a pervert?

video~

[deadly_legacy]

I assumed you were teasing him like when his friends call him old. He's very nice. We spent an afternoon at the amusement park once. It was fun.

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

High qua-- WHAT?!

video~

[blastiafreak]

I'm not about to sugar-coat it. Whoever bids needs to know exactly what they'd be dealing with here.

video~

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what that's s'posed ta mean!

[mypace-musume.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure glad he's housetrained.


Probably.

[blastiafreak]

It's one point in his favour.

...Probably.

[mypace-musume.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure everyone appreciates the truth in advertising.

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Whaddya mean, PROBABLY?

[notflynn.livejournal.com]

Who would want to buy him?

[blastiafreak]

I'd say only someone completely out of their mind, but--Euphie already bid.

[notflynn.livejournal.com]

Euph? Weird... maybe she's feeling sorry for him.

[imperialwill.livejournal.com]

My...I wonder if I should bid as well.

[blastiafreak]

You read the part where he's a pervert, right? Besides, someone already bid an orange--anything more than that would make this a scam...if it's not one already.

[imperialwill.livejournal.com]

A scam? Then I shouldn't participate, I suppose. I just thought having someone to help with errands would be nice.