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[blastiafreak]

Attention: One middle-aged pervert for sale to responsible owner. He is housetrained, probably, but has problems overcoming lecherous habits.

Buyer should be strict, willing to enforce boundaries, and capable of tolerating high quantities of tentacles. Patience of a saint is a good asset but not required. Young, pretty girls should refrain from bidding and are advised to keep a distance of a hundred yards, minimum.

Bidding starts at one red. Leash is included.

[ooc: Tentacles? You want context? What, he just likes seafood. Like, a lot. And that includes calamari.]

Comments

voice

[deadly_legacy]

Yes, of course. Though that sounds a little low, doesn't it? But it's what she asked for!

...Do you have a dog, Raven? [Leash?]

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Why, do ya want one?

voice

[deadly_legacy]

That might be fun, but no, I was just wondering why you would come with a leash.

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

O-oh, that's just Rita jokin' around!

voice

[blastiafreak]

I was serious. I tested it myself on a monster--it's extra strong, more than capable of keeping you under control. And it comes with a spiked metal collar, too!

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Damn, Rita.

voice

[deadly_legacy]

It was an odd sort of introduction...

Are you enjoying the auction?

voice

[notschwann.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd be enjoyin' it more if Rita didn't veto the good bids...